Rebellious and stubborn? Or steadfast and resolute?
Which set of labels would YOU prefer? Well, it wasn’t until this big ol’ age of mine that I realized other people’s labels (read: perceptions) of me has nothing to do with me. And I was getting tired of and mad at myself for actually subscribing to some of the more negative labels that had been assigned to me over the years.
Three things I’ve learned about labels that I want to share:
- Labels are limiting
- Labels can make or break you (mentally speaking)
- Labels usually come from OUTSIDE of yourself
If you don’t start labeling YOURSELF (knowing and deciding who YOU are), other people will gladly do the labeling for you.
I grew up hearing that I was rebellious. And so eventually, I rebelled. Because isn’t that what rebellious people do? What wasn’t clear to me then (that I’ve learned over the years) is that “rebellious” doesn’t mean “destructive”. Rebellion is (to put it simply) resistance. But I don’t remember anyone asking me why I was rebelling? Why was I resisting what “was”? (Honestly, if someone HAD asked, I’m not sure I would have had an answer.)
I’ve been labeled as “stubborn” more times than I can count. Usually when I’m resisting. LOL! For instance, when I say “no”, I mean it. One day, I asked myself, am I really “stubborn”? Or am I convinced, steadfast, resolute about certain things?
When I looked up “stubborn” in the dictionary, and it said “resolute” I realized that it’s the perception of the label that makes the difference. If you hear someone is “stubborn”, its an automatic negative connotation. But if you hear someone is “resolute”, you probably imagine someone in leadership or who is a decision maker, right? (Well, I do.)
And then, like magic… that stubbornness was no longer a weakness, it’s an asset! I’m able to make a decision and stand on it.
When I think back on other labels put on me over the years, I ask myself:
- Who is doing the labeling and how much weight does their opinion carry with me?
- Is this label positive or negative?
- Is it meant to correct or judge?
- If it’s negative, is it true? And if it’s true, what doesn’t that mean for me going forward?
I’m finally at the point where I really don’t care anymore what people think of me. Because I know what I think of myself. Yes, it feels good to have people thinking and saying good things about you. But (and correct me if I’m wrong here), isn’t that just a byproduct of doing good things and being a good person?
It’s been a long, trying road to get to the place where I’m comfortable with who I am and what I envision for myself. And no one’s labels of me are powerful enough to stop what God has in store for me. And I sincerely hope you feel the same.